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Day 40 – Q 4.What do you understand by ‘self-management’ in the overall discourse of emotional intelligence? What is its significance? Illustrate.

 4. What do you understand by ‘self-management’ in the overall discourse of emotional intelligence? What is its significance? Illustrate. 

भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ता के समग्र प्रवचन मेंआत्मप्रबंधनसे आप क्या समझते हैं? इसका महत्व क्या है? उदाहरण देकर स्पष्ट करें।


‘Self-management’ in the overall discourse of emotional intelligence refers to the skill of effectively managing one’s own emotions.


Self-management involves:

  • Self-control – managing one’s disruptive impulses. Being able to diminish the longevity of unpleasant emotions such as anger, frustration or anxiety so that you move through them quickly.
  • Trustworthiness – maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
  • Adaptability – handling change with flexibility. Being able to move from one emotion to another as required, so you have more choice over the emotions you feel at any given time.
  • Innovation – being open to new ideas
  • Consciousness – being conscious. Being able to reduce the occasions on which unpleasant emotions occur, so that you experience emotions such as irritation, resentment or helplessness less often.

Techniques to regulate emotion – 

  • Engaging one’s senses – listening to music, going to gym, reverse-counting
  • Yoga and meditation – training the mind to connect with inner selves
  • Laughing therapy
  • Use of humor
  • Feel energized, not angry: Use what others call “anger” to help feel energized to take productive action.
  • Avoid people who invalidate you. While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time with them, or try not to let them have psychological power over you.

Significance of self-management

  • Happy state of mind – working as per message of Karl Barth, “Joy is the simplest form of gratitude”.
  • Satisfied and contended – due to control of negative emotion of greed and hedonism. 
  • Positive attitude – despite unfavorable conditions.
  • Christopher Nolan puts beautifully in his movie (Batman Begins) – “Why do we fall?. So that we learn to pick ourselves up”.
  • Not get disturbed by accusation or rumors – as Gandhiji said, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission”.
  • Endurance in adversity – As Sahir Ludhianvi’s lyrics says – 
  • Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya
  • Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya
  • Easy adaptability and quick learning – Charles Darwin proved that emotion helps in adaptability. As Plato said, “All learning has an emotional base.”
  • Predictability in behaviours – due to control of emotions of anger etc. 
  • Healthy personal relation – due to management of emotion. 
  • Efficient professional performance – 80% of adult success depends on EQ as per Daniel Goleman.
  • Persuasive power – The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart. – Rasheed Ogunlaru


“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara Meyer Robson. With self-management one can harness the power of emotion. 

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